Really I am.
So here we go...
WHY does John Mayer insist on hanging out with fools?
And worst of all....
I imagine the conversation went a little something like:
John: You guys are so hot right now.
Vanessa: Who are you?
Zac: Dude I totally love your music and political opinions and everything because I am so mature.
John: I remember when I used to be popular. Should've never broken it off with Jessica.
Vanessa: Oh! You're that dude who was dating Jessica Simpson! I knew I'd seen you somewhere.
Zac: No, come on guys, I am totally mature and adult and smart and shit.
John: Say Vanessa, you're quite cute. Wanna be a super hot couple?
Vanessa: Aren't you old enough to be my dad?
John: Details, baby. Love has no age.
Vanessa: Yes it does.
Zac: Seriously guys! I am mature. Just because I'm a Disney star doesn't mean I don't have depth. I'm totally into politics, I swear. Down with Bush! Women and black people are the future!
John: Hey! I know you! You're Harry Potter!
Zac: No I'm not.
John: Dude, you are freakin awesome!
Zac: I'm not Harry Potter.
John: Oh dude, I loved that scene where you were all "Screw you Malfoy!" and he was all "Oh no!" and then Hermione was, like, all over you dude. Swear to god, you are so in with her.
Zac: I'm not Harry Potter. That's Daniel Radcliffe.
John: So does Harry die in the end?
Zac: What is with this guy? Vanessa, we are so outie. Vanessa? Vanessa?
Vanessa: Sorry, I found one of the least gay guys from Simple Plan. It's over, Zac.
Zac: You bitch! I spent a few hundred dollars on that crappy ring! All the magazines said it was adorable and age-appropriate. You can't do this to me!
John: Don't worry dude, if Hermione turns you down, just get back with Cho. Emotionally distraught chicks are hot.
Wow. Okay. That just ended up being a string of very loosely connected thoughts that happened to run through my brain. I'm quite impressed I worked a Simple Plan reference in.
And I promise more updates very soon.