Thursday, January 17, 2008

Music Review - Coconut Records

Coconut Records - Nighttiming

Coconut Records is the name Jason Schwartzman has given his latest musical project.

If you (shockingly) don't know who I'm talking about, let me refresh your memory.

I'm not going to crap on about how brilliant it is and go through every song in a nerd-ish amount of detail, I'll just sum it up with one phrase.

Ridiculously Spectacular.

And just to hook you in even more, Zooey Deschanel and Kirsten Dunst both sing on a couple songs each (and Kirsten isn't as bad as you think, she's actually quite good)

Now fly my pretties, and listen till your ears bleed with joy.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Everybody Loves Kristen Bell

I adore Kristen Bell.
She'd be the perfect older sister, always letting you borrow her awesome clothes and shoes and buying you alcohol when you're underage and taking you out with all her cool friends to all the cool bars where she knows the owner and gets you free drinks.

So it's nice to see her wearing something that makes her look gorgeous, rather than stumpy and old like she often looks at red carpets.
Aw, look at her there, all cute and smiley and gorgeous. Isn't she adorable? (the answer is yes)
Damn you bastards for cancelling Veronica Mars! Damn you!

No One Like Alicia Keys

So recently Alicia Keys got a Well Played on for this little ensemble.Now, lord knows I love GoFugYourself and most of the time I completely agree with them and enjoy revelling in their discussions of tackiness.
But honestly, Well Played? This outfit?

Her face is so shiny it's like she's trying to communicate with aliens by reflecting light into outer space, her hair looks like a bird built a nest and then a squirrel came along and killed the bird, using the nest to store its nuts for the winter, and the dress looks like it would look awesome on someone with boobs far bigger than hers and a nicer neck than hers.

Plus her expression looks like she's just realised how irritating No One is to listen to.

Now, I know it's not a total Fug, like, say, Johnny Depp and the London premiere of Sweeney Todd
(Not that anyone should fug Johnny, because he's Johnny Depp and is immortal and untouchable and magical)
But it's still not a pretty picture. I know it's better than a lot of other things she's worn (like the frizzy hair and sweat shirt combo in the No One video) but it's still stupid.

Or, I could be completely wrong and it could just be my dislike for Alicia Keys raging out in the form of insulting her fashion choices. Actually, if I look at it and pretend it's not Alicia Keys, it's not that bad.

Photos copyright

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Crazy Britney

Oh god I love her so much. Seriously.
Okay, remember Brits wedding to Kev? Yes? And remember the outfit?

Well, here she is yesterday in a car dealership with her new bf, that paparazzo dude with the name I can't spell.

Oh Britney.

Now, I am all for celebs wearing things more than once in public. I think it's stupid they get canned for wearing the same thing lots. I wear my clothes lots. Thats what people do.

But BritBrit, seriously, your wedding dress? With a new bf? To a car dealership? Seriously?

Oh lord. Dr. Phil, forget the fueding and the fighting, this girl needs help.

Photos copyright People Magazine

Hello Baby!

So Nic finally popped it out.
I didn't even know she was 9 months, has anyone checked if she's eaten recently?

And in true Hollywood style, they've chosen a perfectly normal, sane, beautiful name for their baby girl.
Harlow Winter Kate Madden
The only thing that could make that better was if they did a double-barrell on the end with Ritchie.

And apprently celeb friends are just so excited.
Katie Holmes has sent her congratulations (because she's locked in an ivory tower with nothing else to do but read scientology books)
Mischa Barton has bought them a bunch of baby "rocker" tshirts (because her career is non-exsistent and she has a desperate need to cling wildly to anyone in the spotlight)
And LC from The Hills can't wait "to see the baby. I bet it's beautiful!" (because she just has no life)

Enjoy raising the baby, you two crazy kids!

Photo copyright People Magazine.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Music Review - Nickelback

It's a new segment!
In "Music Review" I'll basically just insult a random band for as long as Blogger will let me. Enjoy!

Nickelback - All The Right Reasons

This week we're taking a look at Nickelback's latest attempt at mediocrity.
Basically, my view of Nickelback is that, while they are very sucky, they used to be sucky in bearable near obscurity until they started liking pants around women's feet. They thought these lyrics were cool and edgy and sexually appealing. They were wrong. They have spent the rest of their career trying to make up for these lyrics.

Their latest attempt at trying to win back women is so disgustingly sappy in terms of lyrics that I'm not even going to talk about the horribly formulaic music. With songs like "If everyone cared", how anybody can sit through this album without being sick into their own disgust amazes me. I know I sure didn't listen to the album.
What, then, gives me the right to judge it without having heard the entire thing? Because I have a blog. So there, Nickelback fans. Pfft, who am I kidding? That's an oxymoron.

Nic & Keith's First Ultrasound

What with me being such a close personal friend to redheads and addicts, I have EXCLUSIVE access to the ultrasound pics.

Aw, innit cute?

And who knew Nic's womb was so well equipped?

Good luck to them.

PS - I hope you all appriciate my wicked bad Paint skillz. Bitches don't know shit about Paint.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A Small Note On Paynesville

(For those who don't know, Paynesville is a tiny town in East Gippsland. Never go there.)

Dear Paynesville,
When your pizza place has an ocotpus as it's logo, you're in trouble.

New Year!

Happy new year everybody!

Top 5 resolutions for 2008:
1) Become rich
2) Become famous
3) Find the love of your life
4) Be best buds with H.Duff
5) Take Li-Lo under your wing and fix her

I hope you all acheive all of those (I'll be happy with just the last two)