Tuesday, January 15, 2008

No One Like Alicia Keys

So recently Alicia Keys got a Well Played on GoFugYourself.com for this little ensemble.Now, lord knows I love GoFugYourself and most of the time I completely agree with them and enjoy revelling in their discussions of tackiness.
But honestly, Well Played? This outfit?

Her face is so shiny it's like she's trying to communicate with aliens by reflecting light into outer space, her hair looks like a bird built a nest and then a squirrel came along and killed the bird, using the nest to store its nuts for the winter, and the dress looks like it would look awesome on someone with boobs far bigger than hers and a nicer neck than hers.

Plus her expression looks like she's just realised how irritating No One is to listen to.

Now, I know it's not a total Fug, like, say, Johnny Depp and the London premiere of Sweeney Todd
(Not that anyone should fug Johnny, because he's Johnny Depp and is immortal and untouchable and magical)
But it's still not a pretty picture. I know it's better than a lot of other things she's worn (like the frizzy hair and sweat shirt combo in the No One video) but it's still stupid.

Or, I could be completely wrong and it could just be my dislike for Alicia Keys raging out in the form of insulting her fashion choices. Actually, if I look at it and pretend it's not Alicia Keys, it's not that bad.

Photos copyright GoFugYourself.com


Ellie said...

No, it is that bad. It's like she got her dates for "super-fancy-red-carpet-event" and "star-wars-theme-party" mixed up.

It's either a very fashion-forward Princess Leia or Queen Amidala/Padme's lounging around the house outfit. Only she is not Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley or Carrie Fisher, because if she was, I would love this outfit.
But no, she's Alicia Keys, and all the songs on her album are even worse than "No One" (especially "Wreckless Love" which I always mishear as "Breakfast Love" and then I get hungry) and so therefore its awful.
Wow, I've written quite alot. I just sort of let my hatred spill onto the keyboard. I feel much better now.

Tegan said...

Tell me about it. I don't have such a fiery hatred for her now, it's just a mellow disgust. Venting about her is really therapeutic.

Ellie said...

So, talking of Alicia Keys, somebody who isn't Alicia Keys (but who Alicia Keys would probably love to be)

read, laugh, love: