Bindi Irwin

Top 3 reasons why Bindi Irwin is the devil.

1) Her eyes are just black. If that's the window to her soul, it needs some Windex.

2) No one can crimp their hair that much and not have it dry out and become horribly brittle. There are supernatural forces at work in that scalp.

3) Uhh... have you seen the girl sing? That shit ain't right.

Post-Election Blog (Finally)

So I know it's kinda past it, but...

YAY. Oh gosh I was so happy when I got that text from Mum saying "It's a Ruddslide!"

So I should have done this on Sunday, but I was WAY too hungover. Seriously. And then Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday flew by in a blur of data entry. So here we are. Thursday.

And that bright pink man is the leader of our country.

Sleep easy, Australia.

Numb3rs

Older Brother: Man, being in the FBI is hard. Let me tell you all the details of the top secret classified case I'm working on right now.

Dude from The Santa Clause: Okay.

Older Brother: Someone is going around killing people. It's bad.

Dude from The Santa Clause: Pfft! You call that a crime? I could solve that in 5 seconds with maths.

Older Brother: ... Uhh... maths?

Dude from The Santa Clause: Sure! Just let me draw lots of meaningless equations on this blackboard. (draws) There! Done! This is the guy you're looking for.

Older Brother: Wow! I've been in the FBI for years and had years and years of intensive training before that, but you're so much better at this than me! You should help me on every case.

Dude from The Santa Clause: Yay maths!

Awesome Christmas Presents

It's that time of year, people. The time when all you want to do is drink and sleep and watch awesome movies like Jingle All The Way and The Santa Clause 2, but you keep getting interrupted by family members who seem like they will never give in to mortality and who demand presents.

So, for my parents benefit (although hopefully they will never find this blog, so this is kind of pointless, but shut up, don't judge me), here is my christmas wishlist.

Pretty much the best show in the world -- with the worst timeslot. Midnight on a tuesday? WTF ABC.

I MUST HAVE THEM. I missed a section of the first season and most of the third. I. MUST. HAVE. THEM.

I have to complete my Wes Anderson collection or I will die. Enough said.

Yes, I've seen pretty much every episode on TV, but that was years ago, and I've got the first 3 seasons, so now it's a collection. And it's a really good show.

Other than that, just get me money. I only want dvds. Dvds are awesome.

Do you hear me, parents? Good.